Interview with the Sasquatch
Hello, Leonard. Thank you for sitting down with us.
You’ve lived in the Pacific Northwest your entire life; do you remember your father at all?
How did he die?
Light from sky killed him.
Do you remember how old you were when this happened?
You’re a father now yourself. How many children do you have?
Lendal and Maggy.
There are only supposed to be male Bigfoots, yet you had a girl. Is that rare?
Is that a yes?
The mother of your children is Porsche Delessops. Is it true that you kidnapped her?
How did you meet?
I smelled her. Followed scent.
Then you kidnapped her?
All right, so after you “met”, she became a part of your tribe?
I’ll take that as a yes. How do you feel about the fact that she’s married to Mike Tancardie?
Mike’s good guy.
You don’t mind sharing Porsche with him?
Blank stare from Leonard.
Okay, so she’s married to Mike and spending part of the year with the tribe and part of the year with him, how do you make it work?
Another blank stare.
You’ve spent some time with her younger sister, Lena. Is she still with the tribe?
Lena pretty girl. Huge smile from Leonard, baring strong-looking teeth. Pretty.
You’ve spent some…alone time with Lena in a cave. Was Porsche jealous of this when she found out?
Lena’s nice. Gggrrrr…pretty pussy…
Um…okay. Your leader, Bubba, died a few years ago. Now that you’re the head of the tribe, what are your hopes for the future?
What direction are you taking the tribe in? What are your goals?
More pussy…more chocolate.
Goodness. Laughs. Okay, now that the Bigfoot hunters are gone, what is the biggest challenge for the tribe?
Finding pretty pussy.
Will Porsche stay with you or is she going to leave?
Would you let her go, if she decides one day that she doesn’t want to stay?
She’s free girl. Pretty girl…love my Porsche. She stay.
There’s a new member of the tribe named Brutus. Some say that Porsche is quite fond of him. Are you worried that he might steal her away from you?
Whooaaarrrr… bares teeth
Looks like that might be a sore subject. Are you at all worried about these genetically modified apes? Are they dangerous?
We teach them to be like us.
Oh, I see.
Besides chocolate and…um…pussy, what other things do you enjoy?
sighs Do you worry your tribe will be hunted by the outside world, especially now that people know Sasquatches really exist?
Well, thank you, Leonard for talking with us.
You pretty woman.
Oh, thank you.
Me like pretty women.
Mouth drops open. Is that…oh, my God!
Ggrrrr… grins, flashing teeth
T-that has to be at least…a…foot long!
You suck Leonard’s cock.
Um, okay. I think we’re about done here.
You make Leonard happy.
It’s been a pleasure talking to you, but…I gotta get outta here right now!
Oh, my God. No, no! OH, MY GOD!